So I went to the mall with my aunt, mom, lil bro, and my little cousins. I didn't buy anything (thanx that I'm currently penniless). Man, I seriously don't even have a 20-dollar bill. I'm not sure how I did it. How I spent all of my savings and I don't usually do that T_______T Truthfully I only have one $100 bill in my wallet, and I'm so NOT going to break that up >< That was the money my uncle who lives in Paris gave me this summer. . . why didn't just go and deposit it already?!
Anyway..while we were getting home, my little cousins, being kid, cried so much because they didn't want to get home just yet. And it was getting so friggin dark quick outside too (>.<)Actually one of them cried. She didn't cry right away, but once we got secured inside the car, I almost went deaf. She fucking screamed so loud. So I dropped the bomb and yelled at her to shut up. Of course her mom was sitting in the front seat, so was I, and my mom was telling me not to yell at her. That little brat even yelled at my mom for crying out lound, thus I yelled at her even more. I'm terrible when it comes to this...I can't tolerate screaming kids..that's why I'll never be good as a teacher or...possibly a nanny >___< !!
My mom and my aunt tried to calm her down, but it didn't work. The older one - I liked her even better now. She has grown up so I liked her more I guess. So she just kept crying, and she told everyone to be quiet. I just go even more pissed out so I told her to shut the hell up. I'm not good with handling with kids, and I bet her mom totally dislikes me for that. I am so terrible.
So my brother and I told her that we won't come with them again the next time once we got home. Of course we didn't really say that out loud. My brother was grumbling and mumbling words. I put on my angry face. My mom tried to be as sympathetic and all nice. After we went in, guess what my prize was for yelling at her for being so disrespectful when my cousin was yelling at my mom. How could I have tolerated that all the way home and had to listen to her thunderous yelling and crying? I can't stand that. So I said that I don't care. I don't fucking care if she's six years old. When she isn't behaving I'll tell her what to do...that's why I'm the most hateful person ever.
About a minute later inside the house, the door bell rang and we let the older one in. She isn't annoying. She even understood what was going on. I adore her for that. Really I do. She is not even fully 9 yet and acting so mature already. So she was staying with us...
When the younger one came later on to have dinner with us (we have dinners together alot) and everyone was good..I got on the computer and for some reason while my lil cousin told me about some ghost motel my other cousins forced her to see I thought of one that my geometry teacher showed to us last year. So I decided to go to youtube and browsed for it. I told her to watch with me..
....I MUST BE OUT OF MY MINDSS....
I don't know why I did it. Once I'm on the page I told my 9-year old cousin to watch it with me. She knew that it has something to do with ghost but I said it would be alright. Then I called my brother and my loud 6-year old cousin to come tooooo....HATE ME FOR THIS. I let them watch...y'know that ghost car advertisement that lasts about 16 seconds? Well after watching, the three of them screamed, the older one abruptedly ran upstairs, my lil cousin cried so hard, and my lil bro didn't know what to do so he went back to resume on his video game. MAn, I must have been out of minds, and IT WAS ALL TOTALLY MY FAULT. I shouldn't have showed that to my cousins..MAN...she cried so hard I was scared like a chicken. Their mom wasn't home yet so I was sort of safe. Though my mom yelled at me . . . I felt so hateful. I am hateful. I donn't know why I showed it to them..I honestly don't know why. If they have nightmares it'll be all my fault. . .
About 3 hours later . . .
. . . Things are still ok
Appearantly their mom doesn't know yet . . .
. . . I am the most hateful person EVER.
I just need to get this out . . .
I must be the most hateful person in the whole wide world!! I still don't understand how people find me so "sweet" because I totally am just not sweet! Man, I must be just the most hateful.. . I hate myself now...Here it went today.